Small Steps.

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I’ve been working hard at getting healthy. Erin & I have been getting up early and walking or spinning. I’m drinking more water, enjoying treats in moderation, and tracking my steps with my fit bit.

I’m seeing results…but it has been s l o w. So slow. And some times that’s hard. But one day I just sort of looked in the mirror and decided I was in this for the long haul. I’m not going to quit. I just have to put one foot in front of the other. I just have to dig my heels in and keep going.

Well isn’t it interesting that what’s going on in the natural always reflects what’s going on in the spirit? Always! So If you’ve met me you know I’m somewhat of an avalanche. I am all or nothing. Black or white. Loud or not there. Your best friend or your worst enemy.

As Jesus tries to nudge me more into being okay with the gray, the same principle applies. Slow & steady wins the race.

Hebrews 12:1-3 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

It’s right there! When I feel like I’m facing an impossible course with getting healthy or in my relationships or my vision for my life or finding balance or whatever- if I fix my eyes on Jesus and run with endurance, I win. I don’t have to grow weary because His burden is light.

Even beyond that, Hebrews says that I have PEACE, GLORY, & NO SHAME! Furthermore, this jumble of situations in my life is producing PERSEVERANCE, CHARACTER, & my personal fav: HOPE!

Hebrews 5:1-5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

There have been many times that I’ve been hopeless. I can say with confidence that I’m more hopeful despite storms raging than I ever have been in my whole life! What a bright future that’s ahead! To quote a famous campus pastor, “Today was good. Tomorrow may not be. Either way, Jesus is on His throne and I love him.”

PS: Totally into this song at the moment. If you’re feeling the vibe above, give it a listen: http://youtu.be/IJ8pu_OHz2Y

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Nothing’s Mine but I Want Everything.

  I recently moved and it’s been so lovely to craft a new space! My mom and I went to a zillion Goodwills and Homegoods and Ross’s and Tuesday Mornings’ and stocked my apt full of adorable things. I can’t wait to post pictures.

The problem is…I caught myself not being able to stop. There was always something else to buy: paper towel dispensers, hangers, cutesy baskets, fake flowers…… The more I bought the more I wanted. It gave me a rush to add something new. Occasionally (read:always), I get introspective. It’s never easy to look at the ugly parts of yourself.

I realized I was numbing  deep hurts & neglecting needs. I read a quote on IG today that said you never really stop grieving you just learn to live in a new way…that is so true. 

As I muddle through a season of significant loss, I’m upset that things are being taken away from me. Or at least that’s how it feels. Which brings me to Jesus. It always comes back to Him.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matt 6:19-21

Nothing really belongs to me- my things or my relationships. It’s all going to rust and decay. Except for Jesus. Jesus has promised me eternity. I want my heart to be in Heaven and not World Market…no matter how much I feel like I need that ceramic bird. I want full, holy healing- not the bandaid of a new mirrored side table. 

I fully believe the Lord will use my new home for wholeness, & hospitality, but I can hear the Holy Spirit whisper that it needs to start in my own heart before it can become a safe haven for others.