One Two Buckle My Shoe. Three Four Sob Some More.

After an extended massage, my sweet nail technician was putting my shoe back on my freshly pedicured foot. Just as I was about to interject, she began to fasten the buckle on my sandal. I never bother to undo the buckle and usually the back strap doesn’t even end up behind my heel. Tears immediately arrived to this party. 

I was so overcome with how well she was taking care of me. It was just so nice to have someone do something for me. I didn’t have to worry about putting my shoe on. She completely handled it. I didn’t even have to lift my foot. More often than not, I have tons of people who are willing to buckle my shoes…to help me handle things…and usually it ends in me screaming at them. (You think I’m joking….) The nail tech was a small reminder of how nice it is to share a little bit of the burden. 

They say you get your needs met in 3 ways: from others, from yourself, and from God. When the distribution of these things gets thrown off, then it gets unhealthy. Too much dependence on others & you’re looking at  co-dependency. Too much on yourself & you’ve got my bestie boo: counter dependency. To quote Beyoncé, “All my ladies who independent, throw your hands up at me.” While I love my independence and it can be a great asset, my nail tech showed me today that maybe (just maybe) it might be okay to let people help me and I might even like it.  
Join me on the journey to figure this out and take the best care of ourselves that we can! Stay tuned for little ways that I take care of myself. 

The Case Against Being a Butt Baby

  If you’ve talked to me at any length in the past year, you’ve probably heard this story. I was sitting at the same counter where this all went down tonight & the story popped into my head. I thought it was time to share it here.

My 2015 sucked. The whole thing was just kind of a giant heart break. I cried more than usual. It was just hard.

One evening, I was crying in Shawn & Candi’s kitchen. I was sitting at the counter and just word vomiting everything I was feeling. As Shawn was encouraging me to ask Jesus what He had to say about the situation, Skyler runs into the kitchen. [Side note: Skyler is the most hilarious, adventurous, crazy four year old I know.] He said the most profound sentance to me. It was  a huge turning point for my year. Skyler screams at the top of his little lungs,

“Katie- stop being a butt baby and come jump on the trampoline!”

You know what? I was being a butt baby. Now, I am a huge advocate for walking through grief- you gotta feel your feelings, ya dig? But I was wallowing it. Focusing on it. Throwing a giant pity party. Mope city. Skyler nailed it on the head. 

So I ran with him into the back yard and I jumped on that trampoline. As we were bouncing and laughing, it broke something in me. It shifted my focus. It sent me in the direction that I wanted to go- back to joy and fun. It took the focus off of myself and on to something different.

It reminded me of Matthew 18:3:

“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

Sometimes, you have to do something childlike to break out of our clunky adult mindsets. As an adult, I can be jaded or cynical. When I am childlike, I am full of wonder and joy and acceptance. The little things don’t matter as much. You can be a butt baby sometimes. You can have your moment. Take some time to process. But don’t stay there. I hope you have a good kitchen counter where you can spill your guts. When the time is right, look for an opportunity to get on a trampoline. I’m sure Skyler would love to bounce with you. 
Ps: Skyler got in trouble for saying butt baby. He’s not allowed to go around and say such offensive things…but I’m glad he said it to me. 🙂

Oh 14 Year Old Katie

This last week, Kelli and I went to see the first love of my life: Nick Carter. To say I was a fan of the Backstreet Boys is an understatement. I saw BSB live when I was 14. I cried/sobbed the entire time. In fact, I was in such a state of emotional upheaval that security came and asked me if I was okay. Yeah.

So when I saw Nick (my fav, btw) this week, all I could think was, “Wow 14 year old Katie would be dying right now.” I was so close to him I could see the sweat on his cute blonde brow. (That’s as much detail as I’ll get into. He’s married with a kid on the way. But I’ll just leave it at: #swoon) If 14 year old Katie could see me now- meeting up with a friend at a cool downtown venue to see the love of her life without having to ask permission- she would be so proud.

But there’s a lot more that 14 year old and 20-something year old Katie should be proud of. High School Freshman Katie was scared and insecure and weird and unsure. I think we all were.

Today I’m really proud that I’ve risen to the fight to figure out who I am. It’s really scary to face all of your rough edges that have protected you for so long.

I’m proud that I kept going after I fell down. There have been lots of times when I majorly messed up. Like when I lied to all the people who were nicest to me. Or when I’ve really hurt people because of my own hurt. Shawn said to me recently, “I think you think of your self as someone who doesn’t follow through or someone who quits, but you’ve really shown that you’ve kept going.” Whoa. Heavy. True.

I’m proud that I’m working towards a legacy of emotional health. I was having a late night conversation over eggs with Ginger. I was moping and venting and crabbing about feeling stuck and not knowing how to do things well. She said 2 things people always say that make me want to punch them in the face, “You’re never going to arrive.” and “Katie- you are healthy now.” Okay so I don’t really want to inflict pain on anyone, but it’s good to have a friend who assures you that it’s okay to be in the process and that you’re on the right track. (I still hate being in the process, for the record.) 

So while I may or may not be proud that I lost my voice & my hearing at a Nick Carter concert, I certainly am proud of moving forward. I’m also proud that I still knew every word to every Backstreet Boys song he sang. Old habits die hard- good ones and bad ones. 🙂

Gosh he is so stinking cute….. ❤

4 Inspirational Instagram Accounts To Follow

I love all that Instagram has to offer. I follow my friends, bloggers I like to stalk, people I like to stalk, celebrities I like to stalk………….but I also like to follow a handful of accounts for inspiration. These four accounts have beautiful images, great branding, and something to hold my attention. 

  1. @wildfoxcouture

If you’re familiar with Wild Fox, you know they’re famous for their cheeky graphic T’s & high end fashion with a youthful twist. I love following them for feminine, fun inspiration….with some sass thrown in.

2. @sainthoax

I feel like I’ve written about them before on my blog, but I’m semi obsessed with Saint Hoax. They mix pop culture, Disney, history, and classic images in a really hilarious way. They call themselves “pop-litically incorrect” and I think that’s perfect. 

3. @vibes

Okay I’m not even sure what Vibes is or what they do- but I love their IG account. They post cool architectural pictures one day and then avant garde fashion photos the next. It’s definetly out of my box- but I think that’s why I like them.

4. @wildercalifornia

I love following Wilder for their beautiful botanical photos. The colors are soft & subtle. As a desert girl, I love their shots of succulents too. They sell prints too- absolutely gorg. 

Do you have any favs you follow?! I’m always looking for more! 

So You’re Going to Disneyland as a Non-Child….

We’d been planning Christmas at Disney since July. As I scoured what felt like the whole World Wide Web, there was very little about a 20 something’s trip to the Happiest Place on Earth. Most tips were for families with kids…..imagine that. 😉 I thought I’d share some things that worked well for me- a full grown adult- at Disneyland

1. Use a cross body bag. Fashionable, easily accessible, and hard to leave behind on a ride or bench. I had this one. My sister & my mom used this one.
2. Pack snacks. This one might be a bit of a “duh,” but we didn’t pack snacks because we thought we’d just buy them. We quickly realized we wished we had little snacks to munch on between meals. While we still heavily indulged in park food (#corndogsarelyfe), we didn’t always want to spend time hunting for the nearest snack stand. Things like almonds, non-chocolate granola bars, and cheese sticks would have been good to have.
3. Make use of the Magic Hour.                                                                           If you stay at a Disney hotel or have an Annual Pass, you get in the park a whole hour earlier than the rest of the crazed Disney fanatics. This allowed us to walk on to rides we expected to wait hours for.  I felt like it really enhanced the value of our park admission. We got on tons of rides and were able to have a leisurely afternoon on the busiest day of the year. The best tip I read was to get in line a half hour before the Magic Hour actually starts because you have to go through security and you don’t want to eat up 30 mins being “randomly selected” for a search. (FYI- our whole family was “randomly” selected.)
4. Make dining reservations 60 days in advance & do the World of Color Dining Package. We literally walked right front & center of the viewing area for World of Color because we did the dining package. While we were in the “splash zone,” we didn’t get wet at all. If you’ve never seen World of Color, it is so worth it. I am HARD to impress and I was awestruck. We did dinner at Ariel’s Grotto because the other restaurants were booked, but it ended up being great! Their dessert is delicious and (as far as a dinner at Disney goes) was fairly reasonable for a 3 course meal. You can find all of the participating restaurants here.
5. Flo’s V8 Cafe is the perfect oasis for indoor rest. This is actually a great tip for people of any age. While we were at California Adventure, it was FREEZING. While my sisters & dad went to ride Tower of Terror, mom & I sat at a table inside Flos. It’s in a good location, you can order hot coffee, and you can sit there for as long as you’d like.
6. Don’t buy bottled water. Any place that sells food will give you a cup of water with a lid & straw for free. It’s east to get dehydrated while you’re having the time of your life- pop in and ask any counter.
7. Surrender to the kid inside of you.  I don’t know about you, but Disney was a huge part of my childhood and it was so fun to revisit that. My sister and I sang our lungs out at the Frozen Sing-A-Long. I squealed when it started to snow when I was meeting Olaf. The Disney Cast members got excited along with me. I laughed, I skipped, and I screamed. Get lost in the magic of the world Walt created. It will enhance your visit- I promise!
8. Eat a Corn Dog. Seriously. You will never eat a more delicious food. I think they sprinkle magic in the breading. Or they fry them. Either way…..get one in your mouth as soon as possible.

That’s all I got for now! Disney really does such a superior job at creating a magical experience for every guest. You don’t need many tips to have a great time.

Disney Magic

We spent Christmas in Disneyland. I don’t use this word often, but it was truly magical. I’ll share in a post later on about tips that worked well for us and things we would do differently, but I wanted to put up a little recap for my own memory.

Hot Chocolate 5k!

Last weekend was like the craziest weekend of my life. Ugly Sweater Party (so fun), Chi Alpha Christmas Party (until 2am), and then we topped it off with the Hot Chocolate 5k! Maggie and I signed up for this race a billion years ago with grand plans to train and be able to leap like gazelles through the 3.whatever miles.

Yeah……that didn’t happen. Instead I stayed out until 2am the night before. Ha. The only not positive thing I have to say about this experience was that it was FREEZING COLD that morning. Everything else was awesome- the packet pick up was well organized & they had tons of chocolate samples. There was also chocolate at the 1 mile mark of the actual race on race day. The finishers mug was surprisingly delicious- chocolate fondue & hot chocolate. The zip up is cool & I’ll wear it lots. The whole vibe was just fun. Most of all, it was really great to challenge myself with my sister. The environment at a race is always so inspiring and encouraging. I would highly recommend this as a first or 50th 5k! Or if you’re really brave- the 15k!

Here are some snaps from the day (shout out to my parents for coming & cheering us on & taking pics!):

Found these cuties at the Packet Pick Up Expo:

The cute jacket:

At the freezing cold starting line:

Post Race & the Finishers Mug:

Overall, it was a great experience & we’re already planning our next one: The Froyo Run in Tempe!

5 Things I’ve learned from Party on A Bike.

 10 weeks ago, I dragged my butt out of bed at 6am and showed up at The Madison Tempe for a Party on a Bike class. Erin & I set a goal of 10 classes- it seemed impossible. Well we CRUSHED that goal, and I’ve learned some pretty good nuggets along the way. I thought I’d share them here. 🙂

1. Community will carry you.

My first visit, the girls who were up front were like, “we thought you were never coming in from the parking lot! So glad you’re here!” I internally rolled my eyes at their adorableness/friendliness. Welp, turns out I am the worst and they were being authentically nice. It’s such a non-intimidating environment because people want to support each other. If I just rode a bike by myself, I’d take the easy route. Community that cares makes me push myself.

2. Fun is powerful.

If I can let go of the seriousness, it takes the pressure off and I have permission to work harder. Every time the class gets really hard, I purposely smile HUGE instead of scrunching my face. It sends a message to myself that I’m taking care of me and that makes me happy!

3. My body was made to move.

I have learned that I have a ton of energy. I don’t need to count myself out. I can be pushed. I can be active. I can move- and I actually like it. I’ve spent most of my life thinking that I didn’t like being active…but I actually do. My body/life thrive when I’m active.

4. I’m my biggest hurdle.

I could literally go to class and sit on the bike and the instructor would tell me I killed it. That’s just how supportive they are. The people who go to the class are nice. I’m the one who decides how hard I work. I’m the one who decides to take the next challenge. People can support me, but I’m the one who has to take the jump.

5. I’m part of the party.

In January, I spent some time praying over my year and asking God what He had for my 2015. One thing I felt like He said was, “This year you’re going to see yourself as PART of the party, not on the outside of the party.” I notice that I purposely hold back or don’t put my whole self into experiences because of fear. One day, I was in spin and I was like, “Omg! This class is called ‘Party On A Bike’! And I’m part of it! Like really part of it!” Being a “part” of the class is showing me that I can be part of any party- any situation! Even if it’s out of my comfort zone.

I love it when Jesus teaches me things in the most unexpected places and I’m so thankful for Party on a Bike. As I head into a NEW season of challenges and goal busting, I’m glad these tools have been added to my belt. Wisdom that will serve me well for a long time.

***You should totally come with me sometime! If you aren’t a masacist who wants to take a 6am class, that’s fine. I would highly recommend Mikayla’s classes- she is a gifted teacher who is right there with you! If you like that yoga vibe with some Biggie Smalls sprinkled in, take Brittny’s class! Honestly, I’ve never had a bad experience. Those girls are just the 6am homies. Plus, shout out to Cailey the angel who takes good care of…everyone. 🙂

Apps I’m Into Right Now

  
I’ve been trying to get everyone I know to download 2 of my favorite apps of the moment. Since my sisters only seem vaguely interested, I thought I’d share them with you all!

1. Keep

Keep is a shopping/fashion app- sort of like an online shopping version of Pinterest. You can organize lists, scroll their feed, and find everything you didn’t know you needed. My favorite part of this app is that it has items that are accessible & affordable with luxury items sprinkled in. Unlike most fashion apps, not everything is like $1,000 for a white v neck. I also think that their push notifications are really witty and non annoying. 

2. TouchRetouch

This app is like a teeny tiny photo shop & is well worth the $1.99. I found out about this bad boy from InstaCamp & I’ve been using it weekly. Just yesterday, I took a picture of my tacos and there was a weird pink chunk in the middle of the plate. I had already started shoveling tacos in my face when I noticed the blemish. Welp-this app helped me erase it:

  
Obviously it’s not perfect, but I bet you totally thought it was just a shadow when you scrolled past it on Instagram! 

Those are 2 that I’m into right now. Any ones that are tickling your fancy as of late? I’d love to hear! 

Summer Camp Melt Down.

  Yesterday was SO FUN! I went to Instagram Summer Camp hosted by The Bloguettes at The Saguaro. We learned everything from branding to editing to landscapes. I had a fabulous group- the #shadowhawks- and we even won best group! I think I’ll even stay connected to some of the girls! The day was encouraging, affirming, inspiring, and most of all FUN!

But it did NOT start out that way. After fixing a wardrobe malfunction and being offended that safety pins are $7 at CVS, I made my way to The Saguaro in Old Town. I had signed for camp months ago but all of my expectation & excitement died the second I walked through the lobby doors. The place was FULL of the prettiest, most fashionable, hat wearing girls I had ever seen. I swear- everyone had a hat and everyone was pulling it off. I bolted for the bathroom and promptly burst into tears.

WHAT AM I DOING HERE? I thought I looked cute but clearly I look like a hobo compared to these girls with Rapunzel hair. Why did I come? Everyone is going to hate me. Definetly never going to be cool enough. Should I just leave?

This wave of terror & rejection just knocked me right over. I texted some homies. They were quick to respond with the reassurance I needed:

“Remember! You like this! It’s going to be great!”

“Um you are pretty? Let’s identify the lie you’re believing.” 

Ooof. Deep breath. I dabbed my mascara off my cheeks, put on a smile, and walked into the main room. I sat down next to a girl with perfectly pastel hair and she was so nice! She has a great online boutique based out of LA. Once I started talking, I started to feel better. I wasn’t even nervous when they had a “Meet Your Neighbor” time. Everyone there was friendly! The day got rolling, and I was loving it! We were laughing, snapping photos, and sharing tips. These were my PEOPLE! They spoke my language. And best of all, they didn’t even care if I was on my phone the whole time. 😉

Our last stop of our full day was “Lifestyle”- learning to spot gram-able moments and being comfortable in front of the camera. I wanted someone to take my picture but I kept saying I needed “direction.” What I really meant was that I wanted permission to be silly or to strike a pose. I wanted permission to be me. But I actually already had that already. I can give that to myself. Always.

Next time I want to skip the bathroom part and go right to the “oh I actually love people and make friends easily” part. This was a huge #LiveBrave moment for me. I recently got this crazy prophetic word about how I am going to move into a season where fear falls off & I live loved. Instagram Summer Camp felt like a kick off to that. I’m ready. 

All to say- you can live brave too. You’re also in on the biggest secret: Even the loudest girl might be nervous to make friends. They even asked during the keynote, “How many times have you looked at someone for 5 seconds and already made up a whole story about them?” Guilty as charged. We’re all in this together- even the girls in hats. (PS They’re actually really nice.)  

Here are some fun snaps from the day:

   
    
    
 
 
 I would highly HIGHLY recommend The Bloguettes webinars & workshops  if you have a small business/brand or are involved in any sort of social media. They were super informative, researched, organized, and sprinkled everything with fun & whimsy!